Why Are Women Uncomfortable Being Big and Loud?

Were you raised on Princess stories in your culture?

Is there some tradition or societal norm that was part of your upbringing that sent you messages about what it looked like to be "acceptable" or loved as a female?

HOW THE "PRINCESS CULTURE" HAS TAUGHT US TO NOT STEP FULLY INTO OUR VOICES AND STRENGTH

Often, these expectations meant that you should be sweet, kind, and quiet. But these expectations also carried with it the message that you should abandon your strength and honor the voice and needs of others above, and to the exclusion of, your own.

RAISING OUR DAUGHTERS, SPEAKING UP, AND STEPPING INTO BIGGER ROLES

 A friend of mine, who is the father to one daughter who is around the age of 7, recently asked me this question, "Annie, what should I be doing to empower my daughter to speak up for herself and realize she can do or be anything she wants?"  He was clearly distressed about this as he explained how he watched the women in meetings at his workplace hold back, silence themselves, and diminish their abilities or worth. 

He even commented on one particular woman who he described as "way smarter and more capable" in the company than himself, but that she didn't apply for positions she was qualified for or speak up as much as the men in management meetings.

Now this guy is a big, strong, masculine guy who came from a military background.  I was instantly impressed that he had a sincere interest in seeing women step more fully into their power and how this would benefit everyone, male and female alike. He didn't seem to be intimidated by the fact that some women he works with could most likely beat him out at promotions if given the opportunity.

But these women were staying quiet.

He feared what messages society would give his little girl and how she was probably already learning that, to have a role in the world, she needed to be pretty, meek, not ruffle feathers, and let everyone else's voice be heard . . . but not her own.

ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE TO EMBRACE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF, BE A LEADER, AND EMPOWER OTHERS

Here's my challenge to you:

• Step into your power and stop fearing what that power holds for you.
• Harness both your feminine AND your masculine energies. That means approaching the world with caring and kindness.  But ALSO with strong rules around your right to be BIG and LOUD.
• Big and loud doesn't have to be obnoxious.  Big and loud can be empowering and inspire others. It can help others find their own voices. Your willingness to stand out and stand up is exactly what the world needs.
• Show up.  Show up fully.  Throw back your shoulders and show your audience how to embrace their lives, their businesses, and rise to their full potential, too.

HONORING YOUR OWN VOICE, BEING BOLD, AND HONORING OTHERS CAN CO-EXIST

The voices of others matter. But remember this: your voice matters, too. And not harnessing and embodying your full, beautiful, radiant, loud, and bright self means that you are allowing all the other voices in the world to matter more than yours.

As for my neighbor's daughter?  I gave him a list of modern fairy tales to read to her where the girl is the heroine. These heroines are not passively waiting as victims for someone on a white horse to come rescue them.

We talked about activities that would embolden her. We talked about words he could use with her and teach her so that she wouldn't diminish herself into nothing more than a reflection or a shadow of what others needed her to be.

CHANGING YOURSELF AND FINDING THE COURAGE TO STEP UP AND BE HEARD

Changing yourself and finding the courage to step up and be heard . . . loudly . . . is the key to all of us collectively rising and feeling empowered.

And maybe, just maybe, we are all changing the world . . . one little girl, one woman, one business, and one voice at a time.

From there, we can move on to impact millions. Together. Collectively. As a team of strong, empowered, and LOUD Sisters. And we have the voices of enlightened and compassionate men to support us and acknowledge the power of feminine energy in us all.

The louder, the better.